Wednesday, we celebrated St. Patricks day with hills training. Now, if I'd read the emails that went out and showed up on time, I'd have spent an hour running up and down a hill... like a CHUMP! Luckily I'm a genius, so I didn't read the emails that would have explained what hill in Prospect Park we would be running down, then I showed up five minutes late, after the group had left our meeting spot. There are two hills in Prospect Park. I chose the wrong one, meaning that before I started with my hills training, I had to run almost the whole 3.3 miles around Prospect Park. It got me thinking, and I've since decided: there's no need for a park that goddamn big.
If only that was the dumbest thing I'd done around my training in the past seven days...
Saturdays are training days. I know this. It's been that way every week. I have a schedule to remind me of it, just in case I forget. I also get heartburn. Do you know what those two things have in common? Both represent really good reasons why someone shouldn't leave work on a Friday and spend the rest of the evening watching college basketball, drinking beer and eating pizza. Unfortunately for me, there was an even better reason to go ahead and do it anyway: there were Cool Ranch Doritos there, too. I'm only human.
This particular Saturday we were getting up EXTRA early (7:45 AM, or as I like to call it, a quarter to too-fucking-early) to run from Prospect Park into Manhattan for a special seminar, which I'll get to in a moment. By all accounts, the weather was amazing. The first day of spring. The sun was shining all across the city just as we ran across the Manhattan Bridge. The view was incredible, I'm told. I couldn't tell, because I was in agony. My feet kept swelling up until my shoes got too tight and they'd fall asleep. I can only guess it had something to do with excessive water retention from massive salt intake the day before. I'd loosen my shoes, which would help for about 5-10 minutes, but then my feet would be asleep again. 6.1 miles to Times Square, with pins and needles the whole way. Imagine playing a 90 minute game of Whack-a-Mole, but you can only use your funny bones.
Here's why it was worth it. The seminar was called "Connection to the Cause." We ate some bagels and listened to a couple trainers, but then this woman came out. Her name was Beth, and years ago she'd been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Her doctor apparently called it "The second-best cancer you can get," and everyone had a laugh at that. As she told us what she'd gone through in her treatment, she showed us a slide show of pictures she'd taken along the way. She showed us pictures of her without her hair, and pictures of the stacks of medical bills she'd had to deal with. She showed us pictures of her son, and told us how she couldn't go near him for a little while after each of her treatments because she was radioactive, and that the best way she could describe it to him was to tell him she was like Spider-Man.
I can't remember how long Beth said she'd been in remission for, but this was now her second go-round with TNT, and she kept saying how grateful she was that there were so many terrific doctors - those that treated her, and the others that did the research so that those first doctors could do the treating. All those doctors need money, as do the people who don't have insurance to pay those stacks of medical bills. There weren't a lot of dry eyes in the place. All you guys, whether you support me through donations, encouragement or kicking me out of bed so that I get to my run on time (thanks, baby) are doing the world some good.
This week, we had a huge number of people join the “Ah Crap, I Guess I Really Have To Go Through With This” Club (listed in chronological order):
- Kevin Fried
- Milton Oberman (Official Father and 50% genetic provider of some shitty, weak-ass calves)
- Anonymous (Really??? I can't believe someone I know donated anonymously. The mystery is kinda driving me nuts.)
- Jon Cruz
- Lauren Goody
- Emily Del Greco
- Jeff Eisenberg
- Sue McCauley
- Suzanne Spence
- Kat Donahue
- Rose DeSiano
- Lauren Siegal
- Adam Koch
- Seth Barron
- Ed Gotfredson
- "Big Game" James Winkler
- Michelle Rodemers
- Adam Abrahams
- Becky Pearl
- Laura Slabin
- Rachael Jaffe nee Schoenbaum (not my Rachel Jaffe; another one)
- Leah Wasserman
Holy crap. Turns out, when you actually ask people for donations, you're much more likely to get them. Thank you all. With your help, I'm already over 50% towards my fundraising goal! Hooray!!!!! [does Muppet-like dance around apartment]
And now, for a cumulative tally of my journey (brought to you by Tallyzoo.com):
- Blisters: 1
- Chafed Not-so-un-mentionables: 3. My nipples are almost back to their original pristine-but-biologically-pointless state. My thighs continue to hate each other. I've named the left one Hatfield; the right is McCoy. The only thing keeping the peace these days is a heavenly, magical substance called "Body Glide".
- Total Miles: 51.2
Tomorrow night is "boot camp". I'm not exactly sure HOW I'm going to soil myself - I just know it's gonna happen.
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